Human vampiric virus…. no, it’s much scarier

Human vampiric virus….  no, it’s much scarier

We are, in a revolting sense, lucky that rabies-infected, rabid, victims do not survive long.  Death comes quickly, though not at all mercifully.  One can wonder what would happen if humans could survive infection by rabies, or, if not rabies itself, then a closely related virus.  Even more, perhaps this related virus is what produces real vampires and werewolves!  Thanks to our extraordinary imaginative capacity, a Human Vampiric Virus (HVV to make it sound like a real medical term) has been dreamed up.  The reader can see and hear about it on Animal Planet’s website in its section on Freak Encounters.  This imaginary virus might have been first written about in 1616 in a Treatise on Vampires, written by an Italian scientist Ludovico Fatinelli.  He could have speculated on the role of an invisible pathogen to induce vampirism.  Of course, this is a modern hoax -- thanks to an Amateur Vampirologist for seeing through it [http://doaav.blogspot.com/2011/09/ludovico-fatinelli-exposed.html].  Still, it makes good starting material for a blog.

In order to produce true vampires and werewolves, the virus would have to induce the rapid and reversible growth of our canine teeth and other such bodily transformations as are beyond any biology that we can even conceive.  The painful changes that Prof. Lupin [thanks to J.K. Rowling] and other movie and TV werewolves go through are easily indicative of the utter impossibility.  [And yet, these painful, difficult movements do resonate with the difficult movements of the paralytic (dumb) form of rabies.]  No, we are stuck with rabies itself, producing all the behaviors of our avatars of rage, but without the bodily transformation.

Potentially more likely is that some people may be able to survive rabies infection and then be in a constant state of bloodthirsty, biting behavior.  Although not outside the realm of possibility, this wouldn’t be very useful for the survival of the rabies virus itself.  And, we’ve already noted that humans are poorly designed to pass the virus on to other victims, however much biting is a natural, prepotent behavior for us.  We just can’t sink our teeth into it.  The virus would likely simply die off as its human carrier dies.  Perhaps this is more plausible to occur in carnivores, like wolves.  Still, my guess is that the incessant attempt to bite other members of the pack would result in the, in this case, timely death of the infected victim.  And yet...

What would a living rabid person be like?  They would be the embodiment of several psychological disorders including intermittent explosive behavior, impulsive aggression, extremely prone to road rage, having hair-trigger tempers.  The primary danger wouldn’t be whether one is turned and could pass on the virus.  It is enough that they would maim, mutilate, and murder.  Imagine the ability to produce true ‘dog soldiers’, a movie I still have nightmares about.  The greatest threat probably wouldn’t be an attack by a force of dog soldiers – like Tolkien’s orcs they would probably kill as many of their own kind as any enemy.  The real threat is spreading the rabidity among our own friends and neighbors and the havoc it would wreak on our own people turned and caught up in the madness that is rabies infection.  But this wouldn’t happen by using the rabies virus itself; we’ve seen that it takes weeks or longer to infect its victim.  Not a very efficient weapon.

Could rabies virus be changed to get into the central nervous system (CNS) more quickly?  Possibly, but not likely.  As we will see, it is the targeting vector in the rabies virus that produces its effects.  It does not produce its deadly effects as do most viruses, by multiplying and then destroying the cells it has infected.  We really must stop focusing on the virus aspect of rabies.  It is a virus, obviously, but that’s neither the menace, nor the hope that it represents.  Rabies is cleverer, more insidious than that.  The behaviors it releases are the result of it binding to, presumably blocking (but that also awaits the discovery of its target), the activity of specific types of neuronal receptors – selectively modulating lines of neuronal communication and control.    It takes advantage of what we already are – closet vampires and werewolves – and uses our own behavioral repertoire to get us to pass the virus on to new victims.  In the long run, the multiplication of these receptor ‘blockers’ does overwhelm essential functions of the nervous system resulting in the death of the victim.  But, as it initially infects the CNS, it selectively ratchets up our rage defense attack system, by enhancing it or dampening our social inhibitions, or both.  Luckily for us humans, we generally become exposed to it from short-toothed, clean wounding animals resulting in the paralytic, muscle-weakening effects rather than furious rabies, or perhaps the ataxia and paralysis just limit the victim from being able to actively engage potential new victims.

Getting the rabies virus into the CNS faster would require changing its targeting motif so that it attaches to something more common, something found on many types of neurons or cells in general.  But, that would destroy its specificity, its ability to induce a unique and frightening set of behaviors; it would just kill us.  No, dog soldiers and bioterror weapons will be the result of a pharmacological agent that modulates the receptors that are targeted by rabies.  It may be good theater to continue to have a virus be the means of producing werewolves and vampires, even zombies, but it will be straight-forward chemistry that makes these horrific visions come alive.  Civilized people and nations need to ensure that we understand how to defend against this before someone does turn it loose.  Is anybody listening?!